The days ended

Cant imagine me posting here again so soon.

I just want to remember this day that i actually lost a friend.
a friend that have been with me for 2.5 years now...
and just because we cant meet up one day, is like the bonds between us is gone.
There is this strange feeling after this happens.
Its hard to explain...
its neither a sad or happy one..
but its emotional.
I really cant believe that I actually lost a friend in life due to selfishness between both of us.
the understanding between us js cracked and it went crashing down.

I dont have much to say about this or my friend anymore.
I can say i actually gave up being the bone of this relationship
its not working and i'm lying to myself day by day.
things changes, i know, but never expect that it happens so fast
Maybe its true from the saying that, the hardest thing in life is not making money or fame...
its about keeping a good relationship with everyone.
its not an easy task.
and it does not work one way.

I feel very sorry for my friend as i feel sorry for myself.
both of us will lose a very good friend soon..and there is no holes for this to be right again.
I dont think that things can be change back where it started.
life have to go on...and its best if we both stop hurting ourselves as we hurt each other.

having so many friends in life is a good thing...but maintaining it is no easy task.
i do respect those that actually have "best" friends that never forsake them in any way.
and yes...I agree that I been a bad friend to u.
I'm sorry for it.
I'm also sorry for going against you, sry for hurting you, sry for talking bad about u, sry about not having to spend more time with u.
I am indeed very sorry.

I always tot time will resolve things, but i was wrong...it heals wounds but leave scars.
scars that will be seen by others and yourself whole life.
I dont know wat to do now besides continuing my life studying as a student.
gaining more knowledge for my future.
This have been a very meaningful event to me.
I learn a lesson. A few actually.
I tot i was smart enuf, but i wasn't.
This is still more to learn about relationships with pple.
more to unfold.
more to experience.
and more to learn from.

I js want to wish you my friend,
all the best in your future,
in ur studies,
in your relationships with pple
in your new life

Have a save journey...
Take Care
and Goodbye.

signing off
-Alex N-

Inception

It js struck me today, that i have to blog about what's happening in my life now.
there are a few things that i have to share.
it's kinda personal but blogging is a way to keep dead memories.

Looking back at previous posts, i realize I'm actually talking about the same thing every year.
its been another year now since i last blogged.
and basically its about the same thing and person.
looking and reflecting back in my life.

But firstly, i would really like to thank God for this awesomeness in my life.
Its been long since i see miracles happen before my eyes.
Massive camp 2012 was great with so many unbelievable wonders happening.
back to the main topic....
it was a dream within a dream for me today.
its like i foresee this coming and i know this will happen one day...and the days was the pass few days.

Being Human or Living being is actually pretty complicated.
everyone experience different things in life.
everyone have diff personalities.
and everyone wants to be loved differently.
i can say that no one is perfect.

the rich..will have his/her defects
the talented will have his/her problems.
the caring suffers
the just being stepped on.

the world is like tat, no one is all supreme,
even Hitler died, even the Genghis khan was wipe out.
7Billon world population...and still, pple wait for the best to leach on.

this few days have been pretty depressing.
its the raya holidays and i'm back in Ipoh with my family.
with tons of stuff uncompleted, there's this eager to have fun.
but knowing myself best, i dislike prolonging things.

then came the problems. me being unable to go out with friends, parents high supervision,
things unsettled (car, photo) and even taking care of my family at times.
worst of all....being at stake of a friend wanting to unfriend me.
that was the most hurtful thing that ever occurred in the past and it happens again.

that led me to think for this few days.
what is life about if u actually make friends...being close with them...and at the end of the day,
the relationship breaks?
y things like this happens in life anyway?...Even the relationship between God and Men broke at the very beginning of the world.
Is this all about testing relationships?
that made me ponder....my believe...my faith...my friends...my family...

I was nvr raised up like every other normal families out there.
if u were to say love from parents...Yes i experience it..but i js don't like it...
I still don't get the attention that should i get from my parents....more like a burden then a..."love thingy"
but anyway, when other pple comes into the picture, such as close friends...
its diff...the present of them makes me feel alive...
i can say tat the ultimate goal in life is to have relationships and not to make money.
then it hit me again....what if u are in a situation that a friend wants to unfriend u?..and u dont want that to happen?
Lose-Win Principle.
and since i'm willing...i made the move to apologize...
once...twice....trice...
and my pardon was unpardon.
and when that happens...I have nth to say to myself or the person anymore.
than it hit me again and again...Y cant pple js forgive each other to keep the relationship?
U are my friend...friends accepts other friends bad...and help them in time of needs.
but this is not happening.
if unforgiven...and being rejected...
wats worse that that?...Silent treatment...and that was wat happen.
to cut things short and not making myself all emotional again...
life have to carry one...

Wednesday came...and surprisingly mom reads minds...
the weather today is js plain awesome....
and having Bacon rice for lunch? what could be better.
and because of all this...it made my day better. Thanks mom..

I js hope that there are no grudges between anyone
no unforgiveness...
no bitter hearts...
no anger...
no haterate...
and js no doubts in life on what had happen and wat there is to come.

thats all from me for now.
Hope everything gets better tmr and the days to come.
dont let pple bring you down but always bring pple up.
and when Faith goes against Facts of Science...
find your answers and not let it engoulf you alive.

Chou. Adios