Sunday, February 20, 2011

This is DOTA


25 Signs of Dota Addiction


1. Whenever you lose a Dota game, you want to grab your weak team mate and punch him in the face.

2. Your left thumb is always on the alt button whatever you're doing at your computer. Maybe you want to check your facebook friend's hp bar.

3. When you get amazed at anything you call it 'imba'. 'He scored 99 at his math test, imba!'. You also call things that annoy you, 'imba. 'That guy is imba, he is damn fat'.

4. You relate people's appearances with Dota characters. You call guys with sharp teeth, Gondar. You call black friends, Nevermore. You call ugly fat guys, pudge.

5. Winning a Dota game makes you feel like a celebrity. You stand up feeling that everyone is looking at you. You tend to snob weaker players and treat them as your fans.

6. You start getting fat because of lacking exercise but you ignore it. You think that as long as you win, you'd be a handsome celebrity.

7. You play Dota from the moment you wake up until the last hour you are awake. Then, you continue playing in your dream.

8. Playing Dota is having several code names like, "mom, I'm doing my research I'll be home at 2am.", "yeah, dad I'm changing the tires of my car.", "hello sweetheart, where am I? (thinking...) Damn, damn, the battery is low... (turn cell phone off and resume game)"

9. You become so thrifty on anything except on Dota. You would endure not buying food for breakfast, lunch and dinner, then spend everything you earn playing Dota.

10. Dota became a third party on your relationship. Your girlfriend is starting to let you choose between her and Dota. The worse thing is, you choose Dota.

11. You say the word 'aw' in really life. Girlfriend: "my mom is sick." You: "aw, sorry to hear that.."

12. You have a facebook photo album full of Dota screen shots though people don't really care about it.

13. You judge the totality of the person based on how good he plays. Ugly but good player would say, "How the hell that noob guy got a hot girlfriend?! I'm gonna tell his gf that he's noob so she can change her mind."

14. You are enumerating Dota character names while doing other things like watching tv, walking to school, cooking, eating, pooping, dating.

15. Sexy fan arts of lady Dota characters make you aroused. Worse, you search for more sexy pics of Dota character. Worst! You search for their nude pics.

16. You find it difficult to sleep after losing a Dota game. Your body rotates like 30 times while thinking before you sleep. You even hammer your pillow and repeat a phrase several times, like "I did my best!". And sometimes, you'd do the most pathetic thing ever you can do with your life, you cry.

17. When you go to a party with your friends to hang out, the topic you're going to discuss are the following: Dota games played, Dota new plan, Dota character's strengths and weaknesses, and how 'imbalance' is the food you're eating.

18. You try teaming up with good players because you get so afraid to lose a Dota game. You feel like losing a Dota game would turn you into a vapor and dissolve out from this planet.

19. You remember the exact time you bought all your items but forget the time your home will be locked.

20. You try to play better whenever a girl is near, thinking that they would approach and ask you to be her boyfriend after.

21. The years you are addicted to Dota would be the years you are in a different world, forgetting your real life. You wake up suddenly, "wtf, I'm 30 and I'm still at high school?!"

22. You depend on Dota games whether you'd be having money for your meal or not.

23. It's your birthday and your birthday wish is to play Dota and won't be disturbed by anyone.

24. You start to have a hot-temper, like you want to cast lightning bolt on your teacher.

25. This is the ultimate test. Check your yahoo messenger, if 90% on the list are Dota buddies, congratulations! You are within the portals of Dota Realm.

I don't want you to give up your priorities. Dota should never come first nor second. There are a lot of things to focus on. If you are making enough money from Dota to run a big family, no problem. What you should spend time thinking about is how to be successful in your real life, not your Dota life. Treat this game, not your studies, as past time. Play for fun. The only thing that can beat all the strategies I told you is having fun. If you have fun, nothing can beat you. Win or lose, you still won because you didn't waste your time being slamming your keyboard out of stress. This is the main purpose of games - to have fun.

No comments:

Post a Comment