Dilemma

I don't know why sometimes it's just hard to express thoughts. I am known for being a carefree person that just bombard crazy ideas at crazy timings. But when it reach a certain point in life where my brain just shuts down. Lost of words. Lost of awareness of things happening around me. I hate this feeling.

Musical is on the way of preparations. Many things are already assigned to be done. Date is also confirmed and people are already recruited. But it just comes to a point that things seems to be so hard. Nearly impossible to be done.
That draws me back to a simple question. Yes or No to Musical Play. To be honest, I really don't want to host another musical. And in addition, I'm the Producer this time. The workload, stress and even commitment issues are foreseen from day 1. Having it will be a problem and canceling it will be also another problem. On both sides, I feel like the evil person doing all this decisions. I really don't know what to do at this point. Risk my time and effort or risk relationships and trust.

Studies have been easy going this semester. Usually taking 18 credits had made this 14 credits semester look pretty simple. Bad thing is, I became lazy. I sleep more now and had afternoon naps everyday. Papers on my desk is just a mere show off to those that comes to my room. They are simply there to be blown by wind. I guess I lost my energy and hype this semester. Eating habits have been worsen and money is suddenly being a problem in my life. Things are going super slowly. Again, I don't like this feeling.

Relationships torn, Trust broken, Studies deteriorating, Time wasted, Bad health.
First world problems indeed.
I just hope things goes better this weekends and for weeks to come.
I need to trust on the Lord and believe he will provide.

Adios
-Alex N-